It’s been over a week since I’ve posted anything here. Almost 2. But I don’t think I’m avoiding it, per say. I guess I’m still kind of searching for direction… I don’t want to rely solely on photo-heavy “baby milestone” posts. I want to say more. I want to share more. But what?
I think I put way too much pressure on what my “voice” should be on here. My purpose. And clearly, I still haven’t found it.
So instead, I will ramble and see where it takes me…
Yesterday was a rough one. The girls had an appointment to get their second flu shot at 11am. Usually Mike comes home from work on his lunch break to help feed the girls. But since he used his time to take them to get punctured, feeding was up to me. Normally, this wouldn’t be a big deal, but since we’ve started doing solids at lunchtime things tend to be a little more… tricky.
Needless to say, it was the lunchtime feed from HELL.
So. Much. Crying! Who knew oatmeal & applesauce could be so painful? Chloe still doesn’t quite know what to do with her tongue, pushes the food out, and cries. Everly has the tongue thing down, but doesn’t open her mouth enough. Therefore, she loses half the spoonful on her face, and — you guessed it! — she cries.
I swear they end up eating more tears than actual food. I can only imagine what the neighbors must think when they hear 2 babies screaming at the top of their lungs for a half hour straight. “What is she doing to those poor babies over there? Are they okay? Should we call the police?”… Nah, it’s just lunchtime.
After the stress of the afternoon feed, I was beyond excited when I saw the shadow of a man walk by my living room window. Who walks by my living room window in the middle of the day? Delivery dudes! Woo!
A couple weeks ago I decided to treat myself to an order from Lush: 2 bath bombs and a bubble bar. They couldn’t have arrived at a better time.
It’s funny, but I’ve only recently gotten into taking baths. Recently, as in after the girls came. When I was younger, my mom used to take long baths ALL THE DAMN TIME. I just thought she was really into being clean. But now I know the truth: Baths are the perfect excuse to take a break from your kids.
For one glorious hour, I can escape upstairs to our awesome clawfoot tub (thank you old house!), and just tune everything out. No kids, no husband, no laptop, no iPhone. Just me, a colorful bath bomb, and Iron & Wine.
Of course, as soon as I started drying myself off last night, I heard the faint sound of crying grow a lot less faint. Mike had brought Chloe up to her crib because he “couldn’t take it”. Ah, husbands.
I’m an addict. There. I said it.
Last night, I sat in the tub with my eyes closed. The bath bomb slowly dissolved around me, turning the water a bright orange (fun!). When I opened my eyes, I watched as a cluster of bubbles moved its way towards me. But this was no ordinary bubble cluster. Oh no. This bubble cluster formed the shape of a perfectly symmetrical heart.
I smiled as it floated closer and my immediate thought was “I wish I had my iPhone with me so I could Instagram it!”. Ugggghhh.
Here I was, in the one place where I could truly “disconnect”, and my brain just… refused to.
I hate how silly little moments like this can’t just BE. It has to be documented. Tweeted. Posted to my Facebook wall. It’s so sad. It really is.
While I love having photos and videos to reminisce with later, it seems so much is lost when I don’t fully experience the present. I’d like to say that I’ll work on this, but honestly, I don’t see myself doing it. I’m in too deep. My name is Wendy and I’m a social media addict. 🙁
Now do you see why I feel the need for direction on here? haha