“Twins? Ugh! Better you than me!”
“Oh boy, twins? You must really have your hands full.”
“Uh oh! Double trouble!”
When you have twins, everyone feels the need to tell you how screwed you are. How your life is over. How they’ll age you faster than you can imagine. How happy they are that they didn’t get stuck with a similar, awful fate.
Well guess what, haters? HAVING TWINS IS EFFING AWESOME. And here are my top 10 reasons why…
10. A new appreciation for BOGO sales. Sure, everyone likes a good deal — especially when it involves buying something and getting another one free. This is doubly (har har) true with twins. They need a LOT of shit. We usually have to buy 2 of just about everything (to an extent), so BOGO sales are fan-freakin’-tastic.
9. We get more help in public places. Strangers often feel sorry for us. Two babies the same age? OMG! In turn, they go out of their way to be nice. Doors get opened, toys get picked up, they move the eff out of our way, etc… Sure, people do that for singletons too, but I think they up the ante a bit for us poor, poor souls who have twins.
8. Twins are cute as hell. One little baby in a frilly dress: cute. TWO little babies in frilly dresses: Cute as HELL. ‘Nuff said.
7. We don’t have to remember 6th grade math. I was awful in math. Awful. I was so relieved to finish my last math requirement and dreaded having to revisit it when I had kids. However, since twins will be in the same grade, they can help each other out when it comes to all that equation crap. At least one of them will be smart, right? RIGHT? (fingers crossed)
6. One delivery, two babies. I only planned on having one baby. Ever. But it was always in the back of my mind that what if I had one and decided I DID want another? Welp, no need to stress about it now, since I got myself some BOGO babies. One pregnancy, one delivery, two kids. I’m efficient as hell.
5. Only one party to plan. One birthday, one party. (But two cakes, cos they shouldn’t have to share everything. Especially cake.)
4. Free stuff! Twins can be expensive. Some companies are willing to give you free shit if you prove that you’ve been cursed with BOGO babies. I made a list here.
3. I’m not a twig, and that’s okay. Babies wreak havoc on our bodies. Twins destroy ’em. While I got lucky and dropped like 30 pounds in the first week after giving birth, I’m still not at my ideal weight (in my eyes, anyway). Sometimes I get self-conscious about my “pooch”, but then I say “Fuck it, I had TWO babies in there. I look pretty damn good.”
2. Refer to #6. That really deserves to get listed twice. My uterus agrees.
1. You realize how damn lucky you are. Twin pregnancies are a lot more common these days, but they’re still riskier than a “normal” pregnancy. It’s a lot more demanding on your body and with double the babies, there’s double chance of something going wrong. I’m forever thankful that I didn’t have any serious issues (until the very end) and that the girls were only in the NICU for 3 days. I’m still amazed that despite the fact that they were born 6 weeks premature and weighed only 4 and a half pounds, they totally held their own… For that I couldn’t be more grateful. (I just need to remember that the next time I wake up to the smell of a port-o-potty and a dumbfounded baby with fists full of feces.)
And for the record, these are the cutest twins ever, and you are doing an awesome job raising them.
Aw, thanks Betty!! 😀
This was hilarious. My first two are 13 months apart. I wish that when my first would have three that it had worked out that way. Not that I would trade my pig headed middle child for anything. It would just been funny to have four babies in 13 months. I think it is awesome you had twins. Just more livings for Mommie. And I love BOGO because my two wear the exact same size even 13 months apart.
I seriously NEVER thought I’d ever say that having twins was awesome, let alone “effing awesome”… Not that I have anything else to compare them to. They’re my first (well, and second) and only! 🙂
totally awesome post! mine are 2 years 2 days apart and they are crazy if they ever think they are getting separate parties (dec 14 & 16 – it’s not like we can have a real birthday party anyways because of Christmas. SORRY KIDS AT LEAST WE GOT A TAX DEDUCTION)
Thanks! 😀
Aw, those poor kids — sharing birthdays AND having them around Christmas! Sucks to be them!! haha 😉
#3. It does eventually go away
#7. SERIOUSLY RIGHT! My kid is in 4th grade and I hate helping her with math. I will get her a tutor if she needs it.
Math is the WORST. I really hope the girls end up taking after Mike, cos he was awesome at it. Me, uh, not so much. X – Y x Z = who gives a shit. 😉
You are so right. I love having twins so much, and I know how lucky I am. It makes me sad when I see other twin mamas who are not so happy because I wish everyone could feel this way (don’t get me wrong, I have my moments, but mostly from 3 under 3, not twins). Stay positive 🙂
Reblogged this on A Game of Diapers and commented:
Hell Ya!
While I don’t agree with all of these specific points, I do agree with the general message. Twins are really awesome. We have a singleton as well so we have to only secretly celebrate the awesomeness so no one feels left out. 🙂
haha Secretly celebrate. Nice. 😉
Which points didn’t you agree with? Just curious! I’m sure my list will change as my girls get older…
The biggest one is help out in public. I’m not even kidding when I tell you that people STARE at me like I’m on a tv show or something, don’t offer a since ounce of help and then once I’m settled, they say, “Wow, you really have your hands full, don’t you?” More often than not, I have to ask people to hold doors when I’m pushing a stroller and reining in my 4 year old.
Second is the “bogo babies” nickname itself, although much less of an issue for me because it could just be the perception. People tease and think they are cute when they say, “oh buy one, get one, right?” And to that I say, hell no! I had to pay for 2 ultrasound every 4 weeks. 2 nicu stays. 2 immunization appointments. Nothing free about the second baby. But I mean in terms of Carter’s or Payless sales on clothes or shoes, bogo helps 😉
Wow… I’ve never experienced people just *staring* while I struggled to get through a door or anything… I’m sure it’ll happen eventually though. People can be turds. Guess I’ve just gotten lucky so far.
I mostly think of them as bogo babies because I only had to do the whole pregnancy thing one time and got myself a nice two-for-one, baby-wise. 😉
I had a very rough and complicated pregnancy. I would have gladly taken two regular pregnancies over the twin one. But then again, I loved being pregnant with my first, labor, contractions and all. I didn’t get the same beautiful experience the second time around. And $20k in hospital bills later, it just doesn’t feel like I got any bonus.
I have a singleton and twins who are two years apart, and aside from being quite hard work when they were all tiny, I’ve loved very minute of having them and my son so close together. I love watching the little games they invent and listening to all the giggles.
Yes! Though my girls are only 13 mos, it’s SO neat to see them giggle and play together. Granted, they tend to just fight over toys more than anything, but still. So cute having two the same age. 🙂
Thank Heavens for your positivity on the subject of twins….I am 16 weeks pregnant with twins and everyone just keeps repeating how hard things are going to be. I am sure that twins aren’t easy but the joys must outweigh everything else!
Aw, congrats!! It’s definitely not *easy*, but it’s SO worth it!
I was terrified when I found out I was having twins, but once they arrived, it just seemed “right”. Now I couldn’t imagine just having one. 🙂
Aw yay! Me too! 😀
Hahahhha this post is so good and entertaining. #7 is especially funny. Your baby girls are so crazy cute!
Aw, thanks! 😀
Oh my word, I love this! Thank you for write a positive twin post! I love having twins (mine are girls too!). Any time I hear about someone having twins, the first thing I say is “You’re going to LOVE it!” and the second thing is “You get FREE stuff!” 🙂 I wrote a post about free stuff too, on my other blog that I’m switching from. http://www.lifewithtwins15.blogspot.com/2012/08/baby-freebies.html
Having twins is totally effing awesome! Thanks again for writing this!
Yay twins! (And free stuff!) 😉
OK- its time for a reality check. My wife and I had twins 18 months ago and it has been the worst experience of our lives.
Both had colic. Now thats over we have one that is “normal” and only cries 50% of the time he is awake and the other is a fucking monster who screams 90% of awake time.
Here it is from a mans HONEST perspective who isn’t trying to impress some delusional woman by saying he loves babies-
1. No more sex- ever. Who the fuck can even think about sex? The thought of having sex with my wife is a turn off cause she created this fucking disaster.
2. No more quiet time. Its a fucking symphony of crying for YEARS. I work from home and make a shit ton of money and need QUIET in order to do what I do. Renting an office is not an option.
3. No more “us” or “me” time. Just forget about it. Your life is over the second you have twins. Now you have to “live for them”. Fuck that.
4. Have to listen to stupid people (mostly women) talk about how “blessed” we are to have such beautiful babies. This usually comes from some ditz who doesn’t even have a kid and can hardly keep a plant alive herself. Total fucking idiot.
Here is a news flash women- Men want 3 things:
1. Sex
2. Money
3. Entertainment
Babies fuck all that up. If it were up to most men there would be less than half the population on this planet. Stupid women who watch too many soap operas and fantasize about having a baby are the reason why the world is fucked
up. Just shut up and stay on the pill.
I would rather gargle gasoline while smoking a cigarette than have another baby. If the fucking divorce laws weren’t so slanted in favor of women I would walk out the door and never look back. Then I would try to find the one intelligent woman who realizes that the best life is one with money, freedom and companionship…with zero dependents.
Lets see if you have the “balls” to even publish this truth bomb.
Oh, I have the balls, sir.
True, having twins (or children in general) isn’t all kittens & rainbows. I never said it was. There are plenty of rough days that consist of breaking up fights, listening to incessant whining, cleaning up boogers, etc… But at the end of the day, I love my kids to death and I’m able to see past all the shitty stuff that can go along with having them. The good always outweighs the bad in the end.
I’ve never been a “baby person” and frankly, aside from my own, I’m still not. I also didn’t love getting up every 2 hours to feed them when they were newborns, or the struggle that ensued when it came time to eat solids, or the fact that they’re still not potty trained… But you know what? That’s just the reality of having kids. You have to put their needs in front of your own. No one forced you to have kids and I’m sure you’re aware that it takes TWO to conceive a child… Though it’s comical (and disgusting) how you blame your wife for “creating this fucking disaster”. I’d love to hear her side of this, being that she’s apparently stuck taking care of three babies.
Here’s a “truth bomb” for ya… Parenting is no freakin’ cakewalk. It takes WORK. It takes sacrifices. It takes valuing someone else’s life/lives above your own. I truly feel sorry for your kids if all you want in life is “sex, money, and entertainment”. Man the eff up, dude!
It sounds like ur a miserable person and its ur fault u got her pregant
n complaining she’s the one that has to work hard while I need to be supported in accept ur blessing.