“Twins? Ugh! Better you than me!”
“Oh boy, twins? You must really have your hands full.”
“Uh oh! Double trouble!”
When you have twins, everyone feels the need to tell you how screwed you are. How your life is over. How they’ll age you faster than you can imagine. How happy they are that they didn’t get stuck with a similar, awful fate.
Well guess what, haters? HAVING TWINS IS EFFING AWESOME. And here are my top 10 reasons why…
10. A new appreciation for BOGO sales. Sure, everyone likes a good deal — especially when it involves buying something and getting another one free. This is doubly (har har) true with twins. They need a LOT of shit. We usually have to buy 2 of just about everything (to an extent), so BOGO sales are fan-freakin’-tastic.
9. We get more help in public places. Strangers often feel sorry for us. Two babies the same age? OMG! In turn, they go out of their way to be nice. Doors get opened, toys get picked up, they move the eff out of our way, etc… Sure, people do that for singletons too, but I think they up the ante a bit for us poor, poor souls who have twins.
8. Twins are cute as hell. One little baby in a frilly dress: cute. TWO little babies in frilly dresses: Cute as HELL. ‘Nuff said.
7. We don’t have to remember 6th grade math. I was awful in math. Awful. I was so relieved to finish my last math requirement and dreaded having to revisit it when I had kids. However, since twins will be in the same grade, they can help each other out when it comes to all that equation crap. At least one of them will be smart, right? RIGHT? (fingers crossed)
6. One delivery, two babies. I only planned on having one baby. Ever. But it was always in the back of my mind that what if I had one and decided I DID want another? Welp, no need to stress about it now, since I got myself some BOGO babies. One pregnancy, one delivery, two kids. I’m efficient as hell.
5. Only one party to plan. One birthday, one party. (But two cakes, cos they shouldn’t have to share everything. Especially cake.)
4. Free stuff! Twins can be expensive. Some companies are willing to give you free shit if you prove that you’ve been cursed with BOGO babies. I made a list here.
3. I’m not a twig, and that’s okay. Babies wreak havoc on our bodies. Twins destroy ’em. While I got lucky and dropped like 30 pounds in the first week after giving birth, I’m still not at my ideal weight (in my eyes, anyway). Sometimes I get self-conscious about my “pooch”, but then I say “Fuck it, I had TWO babies in there. I look pretty damn good.”
2. Refer to #6. That really deserves to get listed twice. My uterus agrees.
1. You realize how damn lucky you are. Twin pregnancies are a lot more common these days, but they’re still riskier than a “normal” pregnancy. It’s a lot more demanding on your body and with double the babies, there’s double chance of something going wrong. I’m forever thankful that I didn’t have any serious issues (until the very end) and that the girls were only in the NICU for 3 days. I’m still amazed that despite the fact that they were born 6 weeks premature and weighed only 4 and a half pounds, they totally held their own… For that I couldn’t be more grateful. (I just need to remember that the next time I wake up to the smell of a port-o-potty and a dumbfounded baby with fists full of feces.)